Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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