some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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