so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
