Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
