how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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