Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I smell stomach acid.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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