are you still at the devil's house?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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