I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
