Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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