So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think I died a long time ago.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
