Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
