Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
