and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
