road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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