her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
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