No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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