i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
