She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
as a side note pls kill me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
