Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
