But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
