oh god the rape fog is back!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
