Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
