he shaved USA in his pubs
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
