Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
