i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do vagina's smell?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There r osticjed everywhere
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
