I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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