that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Couch. On fire.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
