Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
