And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
