remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
