Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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