That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
