I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
