last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
