awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i believe in u and ur pee
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
