God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
