whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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