Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
