I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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