Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
