1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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