my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
