He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
