Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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