Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize