please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
