Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Enjoy the penises
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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