I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
