i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
