That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
