There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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