omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
