There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
