ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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