I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
PANTIES FOUND
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