Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
