i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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