ya dads aren't the best wingmen
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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