I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize