Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
