I heard we made out
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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